There are tons of happenings in the next two weeks. Tons of birthdays, a bachelorette party, a wedding, the Texas State Fair and last but not least, my surgery and a week off from work...to recover, that is. 

While all the listed occassions are all special and meaningful (and I'm excited), it's the latter that I'm actually looking forward to. You may say WTF but you have no idea what I've had to endured these past few years! I will not reveal what kind of surgery I will be having - it's too embarrassing to say - I will say that I hope this is the answer to rid one of the worst pains (physical) that I have ever had to endure! While I work out all the kinks with my insurance provider, I can say this is probably the first time in my life that I'm excited to go under the knife.

Scared? Sure, I am! But for what its worth, I would much prefer to live the rest of my life NOT enduring the on-and-off throbbing pains of this (probable) hereditary condition!

Wish it was for a cosmetic reason but unfortunately it's not. Speaking of cosmetic surgery, boy wish I had some money because there are places I'm willing to trade off! *wink*

I don't want to write a long post so that's all as far as updates go. Toodles!

 

My co-worker asked me today if I've dumped him yet, to which I sort of shrugged and laughed out loud silencing the embarrassment from deep within.

So why hasn't it ended?? Because he just wouldn't give up. He begged and plea his case. He just doesn't understand that everything he's done has affected my decision. I don't know what he's thinking. I don't see how anything will ever get better if they've gotten this bad now.

I hate this feeling. One moment I'm sad then the next I'm sad for my life (and being stuck in this predictament)! I understand I'm not "stuck" but I hate hurting someone....

I hate being the bad guy. I simply don't want to be...

Today marks the beginning of the end of 11-month relationship with AK. Long story short, I just can't deal with his insecurity anymore. It's one thing to date someone but it's totally different to date someone for as long as almost a year and still have my significant other (SO) constantly accusing me of cheating on him.

I honestly feel like I've wasted my time with this person. Granted, he was good to me the majority of the time but he's also very selfish. Then again what guy isn't?  He expects me to sit in a cage and have no life unless it's one with him in it.

Uh...no. I don't think so, buddy. I've worked too hard to get to where I am today. I can't let some person walk in my life, demands full control or threaten to leave. No sir, that strategy is not going to fly with me!

Though I'm no expert at this dating ordeal, I can't say that I find insecurity an attractive trait in a man. Sorry, boys, but it is absolutely terrifying.

In my personal opinion, it is most certainly not considered "cute" to constantly check up on your gf, check her phone, read her text messages, ask her a billion times where and what she's been doing and with whom, and so forth. It is also absolutely ridiculous if you've dated each other for as long as, ahem, 11 months you should at least understand and recognize what kind of person you are committed to.

You are not obligated to stay in a relationship if someone else can't make you happy. I used to think otherwise but I've wised up since. Again, and I reiterate, feel free to speak your mind and let go if someone is not on the same page as you. You'll do each other a favor and it's better sooner than later.

I would say this break-up is a mutual decision, though I initiated it via text. Now I wouldn't recommend this approach; however, this case is a bit different because this is not the first time I've attempted to break things off with him. It's like the....20th I think. I've lost count now. I never wanted to deal with all this drama in the first place but my darn soft side always get the best of me when he starts begging and apologizing for his "mistakes". I have always given in.

But no more chances. I'm not getting any younger here. This is the last time. I promise you. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I've definitely given up.

Life is just too short to be constantly be miserable.

Plus, I have bigger fishes to fry. I have a family that's living with me, my current position at work could potentially be in jeopardy, my health issues need to be taken care of SOON  - in case they decide to eliminate my current position and I'm out of medical insurance. Lots to take care of. Lots to think about. This relationship is no longer one of them.

-Restlessqt